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Are Black Women Tired?

Updated: Dec 18, 2022




Scrolling my timeline, I stumbled on a reel from a man named Joshua Dillard.

His first words were “Black Women are Tired!”

As a Black woman, of course I wanted to hear him out, even while being completely over this thing about men making decisions and telling us how we feel.

He declared that Black women are tired of shouldering responsibilities that were never meant to be theirs solely. Black women want to support their man and nurture their families while pursuing things they are passionate about. Instead, they have had to step up to the plate to lead their families, according to Dillard.

The online debate ran along gender lines with many Black women agreeing and Black men saying, “Wait, hold up! We have been here and contributing.”

Reading the different perspectives, got me to thinking.

Are Black Women really tired? Am I tired? Are you tired?

Our answers may be different. But our commitment to God, family, and community has never wavered. As passionate as we have been in seeing to the care of family and community, has that same passion, same loyalty, and honor been returned?

If we are tired, maybe our weariness is in sowing into the lives of others with little return.

If we are tired, maybe the same way we have sought the freedom of those around us is the same fight we need from family and community on behalf of us.

If we are tired, maybe the partnerships we have engaged in are needy, more than partnering and we need more.

If we are tired, maybe we need family and community to go in hard for us.

Black women have stood on the sidelines, often navigating the game unseen. We have supported. We have aided, birthed, and nurtured generations. We have carried our load, and that of others for years. This, while our health went unattended, our dreams put on the shelf, our essence copied, and our Kings dissing.

Tired or not tired, Black women deserve to be respected, loved, and cherished. We deserve space to breathe, to dream, to explore, to soar.

So, while the debate rages on, to the Black women that are holding things down, may you find rest and peace.

May you soar, sis, uninhibited, unbothered, untethered, unworried, and free. Free to love deeply, free to dream, free to fight for what you believe in.

May God’s peace and mercy greet you every morning and each night as you rest.

May your sense of self and enough-ness be rooted in the King who knows you best.

I pray your laughter is loud, friendships are strong, your pockets are deep, and a brilliant, loving, God-fearing man scoops you up if he has not already and that’s your desire.

Dance, sis. Slay, friend. Let’s go seize the day!

Sharwin Wiltz-Boney is an entrepreneur, business consultant/coach, speaker and author who currently serves as President and CEO of a financial infrastructure management company that has operated in the Houston area for more than a decade. Utilizing the experience, she has gained through business ventures and her very own life journey, Sharwin invites you into her Musings. Have a comment? Drop her a line at sharwin@sharwinboney.com.

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